Humor by John Christmann
Power Play
This drama takes place following the freak Halloween snowstorm of 2011, in which large sections of New Jersey lost electricity. The production is conducted entirely in the dark.
Act I
The curtain opens revealing three children and their parents congregated in an open family room. The kids are standing in front of a large picture window watching a particularly heavy snowstorm develop. The mother is sitting in front of a computer. The father is lounging on a couch watching television. Abruptly, the house and stage lights go out throwing the entire theater in blackness.
Mother: What happened?
Father: Penn State just lost.
Mother: No, to the power!
Daughter: (screaming excitedly) Dad, a big branch just fell in the front yard! I think it snapped the power line coming to the house!
Father: (rising to look) I don’t see anything.
Son: That’s because it is dark. The power has gone out.
Father: Where are the flashlights?
Mother: In the closet somewhere.
There is a long pause on the darkened stage, followed by the noise of tumbling boxes.
Father: Owww! My head!
Act II
The stage is dimly lit with candles. Weak flashlight beams eerily light the actors’ faces as they speak.
Mother: Have you called the power company again?
Father: Yes, but I still can’t reach a human. All I get is an automated response asking for our account number.
Mother: Do you have it?
Father: Of course. It’s on the computer we can’t turn on.
Mother: Why don’t you call and order new service? I am sure you can talk to a live service representative then!
Father: Good idea!
In the flickering light the father can be seen holding a phone to his ear as Muzak fills the auditorium.
Act III
Daughter: What’s that smell?
Mother: Oh yuchh. SOMEONE scraped tuna fish into the electric disposal.
Father: Gulp.
Mother: Which reminds me, we need to throw out the perishables. The refrigerator is getting warm and the food is going to spoil.
Father: WAIT! I don’t think beer is perishable! I used to drink it warm in college.
Act IV
Kids: Dad, it’s really really cold! We need electricity. We need heat!
Father: Go to the living room, I will gather some of the dead limbs from outside and start a fire in the fireplace.
Son: But Dad, we still need to do our homework.
Father: (shouting from offstage) You know, kids lived for thousands of years without electricity. I think you can stand a little power outage. Did you know Abraham Lincoln studied by firelight?
Son: Yeah, but he didn’t have to do his homework on a computer.
Mother: Where’s your dad?
Son: He is in the living room starting a fire.
The sound of harsh coughing comes from offstage.
Mother: I hope he remembers to open the flue.
Act V
On the dark stage the father can be heard talking to himself amid clanking sounds as he blindly searches for something in the dark.
Father: I really need to shave. It’s been five days. Now where is that flashlight? (sound of breaking glass).
Father: Oh never mind, I have done this every morning for years. I don’t need light, just a little shaving cream. See! . . . easy . . . smooth . . . feels good.
Father: Oh wait, I am using the wrong side of the razor.
Father: Ouch! (calling to his wife) Honey, where are the Band-aids?
Mother: They are in the closet next to the flashlights . . .
Act VI
A rumbling vehicle can be heard offstage. Pulsing flashes of yellow pierce the picture window and illuminate the family within. The three kids jerk to the window in stop-motion light created by the emergency strobe outside.
Boy: Dad, I think there is a power truck coming up the street!
From offstage a slamming front door can be heard.
Boy: Dad? Dad?
The family stares out the large picture window illuminated by a flashing emergency light atop a large truck stopped in the street. Muffled voices emerge from the offstage darkness.
Utility Man: (through a megaphone) Sir! Sir! GET OUT OF THE ROAD. I repeat, GET OUT OF THE ROAD. If you don’t get up we will run you over.
Father: (on knees stage left with hands clasped in front of bright headlights) Please. We need power. My wife . . . she can’t charge her cell phone. My kids can’t play the Xbox. My face is bloody and my beer is getting warm. Have you no mercy? Please, I beg you! Connect our electricity now!
Utility Man: (through megaphone) I am sorry, sir. You are not on our list. You need to call customer support to schedule an appointment.
Father: (rising with anger before the looming grill of the large utility truck) Never! I will die before I have to call another service representative! He holds an extension cord in is fist and pumps it high in the air, chanting with rising passion: POWER TO THE PEOPLE! POWER TO THE PEOPLE!
The heroic father returns to his family center stage. They gather around him bathed in the emergency light that is still flashing. His head is bruised and his face is covered in band-aids.
Kids: Right on Dad! Are they going to fix the cable for Internet and TV too?
Father: Cable?
House lights return.
© 2011 Dadinthebox.com