It's All About Me!
Chapter 1. I am born.
Chapter 2. I watch a lot of TV and go to school.
Chapter 3. I watch a lot of TV, drink a lot of beer, and go to college.
Chapter 4. I forget a lot of stuff here.
Chapter 5. I get married and start an exciting and lucrative career in the rapidly expanding technology sector of corporate America. We have three kids: a son, followed four years later by boy-girl twins. (I would tell you how old they are but then I would have to update this site every time they have a birthday.)
Chapter 6. I watch a lot of TV, drink a lot of beer, and lament the losses I incurred in the rapidly declining technology sector of corporate America. My wife, who is much smarter than I am, takes an executive position leaving me at home to care for the kids.
Chapter 7. My wife convinces me to write. The conversation goes something like this.
My wife: You have to stop drinking beer and watching Sponge Bob all the time. Why don’t you write?
Me: I don’t know what to write about.
My wife: Write about something you know. How about being a responsible Dad?
Me: But I know nothing about being a responsible Dad!
My wife: Yes, but you know you don’t know anything about being a responsible Dad. That gives you something to write about.
This is why my wife is an executive.
Epilogue. I write a humor column and win both the Nobel Peace Prize and the New Jersey Pick Six Powerball. My wife is proud of me. My kids stop going to therapy. I take up golf and enjoy it. I discover I also have a talent writing science fiction.
© 2009 Dadinthebox.com
Who knew being a Dad could be so funny?
