The Archives

Here are some past columns!

The Big Something-Oh
03.02.10 Where would we be without the Agony of Defeat?

The Thrill of Victory
02.23.10 Where would we be without the Agony of Defeat?

iEmbarrassed
02.09.10 What will Apple dream up next?

Who's Who in Super Bowl XLIV
02.02.10 Wow, this is a really complicated game!

Just Like New
01.26.10 That's one big lemon!

People Of Color
01.19.10 Am I or aren't I?

Baby, It's Cold Outside
01.12.10 Even with global warming, winter sucks.

A Loud Winters Nap
01.05.10 I am the only one that can get some sleep around here!

An Animated Christmas
12.22.09 I don't care what your religious beliefs, "tis the season to be jolly!"

A Good Home
12.15.09 Homes go up and homes come down. Just like people.

A Glut of Personality
12.08.09 I have a confession to make. Contact my publicist.

A Beautiful Mind
12.01.09 I have finally met my match. And he is my son.

Music To My Ears
11.24.09 Silence is golden.

Author, Author
11.17.09 I have finally been inspired to write a book!

Mr. Fixit
11.03.09 Somebody get me a hammer.

Night Of The Living Halloween Costume
10.27.09 And you thought Martha Stewart was scary!

Circus Boy
10.20.09 Parents ruin everything!

The Importance Of Being Ernest
10.13.09 If only I could remember my name.

Behind The Soccer Ball
10.06.09 I get to the bottom of poor sportsmanship.

The World Of More
09.29.09 If it's digital, I can't take anymore.

The Eighth Wonder Of The World
09.22.09 Wow, that's a big TV!

Healthcare: Where The Truth Lies
09.15.09 I have entered the healthcare debate. Somebody call me an ambulance!

The Apple Polisher
09.08.09 It's time to suck up to the teachers. They deserve it.

Revenge Of The Body Parts
09.01.09 Now here are some sports headlines I would like to see.

The Dew Point
08.25.09 Relaxing in a lawn chair can be a lot of work.

Our Finest
08.18.09 I am arrested when I enroll my son in police camp.

It's A Beautiful Day
08.11.09 This might be about optimism, but I can't be positive.

Real Promotions Of Genius
08.04.09 A beer summit. Now why didn't I think of that?

The Father Of The Bride
07.28.09 Something sentimental for the overlooked fathers of big occassions.

Men: The Inside Story
07.14.09 I get to the bottom of a simple but misunderstood medical procedure: colonoscopies.

All Michael All The Time
07.07.09 I still can't sing along.

Under My Thumb
06.30.09 Twitter is nothing more than a thumb twister.

A Car In Every Garage
06.16.09 I am making room for detroit in my garage.

You Have Arrived At Your Destination
05.26.09 Now that I have GPS I am lost all the time.

Dial 1-800-HUBBLE
05.19.09 I hope NASA has better luck with repairs than I do.

Star Trek: The Primer
05.12.09 Beaming to a movie theater near you.

Sick of Mayonnaise
05.05.09 Swine flu can really ruin a good party.

Groom's Head Revisited
04.28.09 I take on marriage. My own. I'll let you know how it goes.

Grocery Archipelago
04.14.09 I hate superstores even more than I hate taxes.

Making The Grade
03.31.09 Report cards bring back bad memories. Even when they are good.

Spring Ahead
03.17.09 Losing an hour is no laughing matter.

Faceless In New Jersey
03.03.09 I come face to face with Facebook.

Satellites Happen
02.24.09 How else would I explain the dent in my fender?

Snow Day
02.17.09 The end of the world is near. Grab a TV dinner and watch it live!

Lost And Found
02.03.09 Finding things is a losing proposition in my house.

I Solemnly Swear
01.27.09 Now this is something I would do.

F Is For Final
01.20.09 I take my first final in parenting.

Dental Hijinks
01.06.09 Pulling teeth is no laughing matter. So why are you smiling?

You And Yours
12.23.09 A holiday greeting from me and mine.

It's Good To Be King
11.04.08 It's election day. Long live the King!

The Fisics Of Phynance
10.21.08 Let's blame the physicists for this mess.

Changing Partners
10.07.08 I finally learn how to dance. Sort of.

The Cat's Meow
09.23.08 I tackle a difficult subject with a little help from a family pet.

Around The World In 80 Days
09.09.08 My driving ambition.

Wii Ennui
08.26.08 What I did on my summer vacation.

Choice Words
08.12.08 I receive some fortune cookie wisdom.

Remote Wiz Kids
07.29.08 I can't control my television any longer.

Exterminating Circumstances
07.15.08 Bugs bring out my dark side.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Daughter
07.01.08 I earn a well-deserved black and blue belt in Karate.

Haircuts For Dummies
06.17.08 Another reason to wear baseball hats in the summer.

Love Is Deaf
06.03.08 Music is in the ear of the beholder.

Building Strong Bodies One or Two Ways
05.20.08 If we are what we eat, then we are all pretty confused.

This Old Swingset
05.06.08 It actually fits in my backyard!

Field Of Screams
04.22.08 If you catch it, he will come . . .

All I Know My Kids Learned In Kindergarten
04.08.08 It's official. My kids are smarter than I am.

One With Goofy
03.25.08 I take up snowboarding and qualify for the Darwin Awards.

Being Prepared
03.11.08 There is more than one reason why I am losing my hair.

Café Addendum Errata
02.26.08 I don't want an experience. I just want a cup of coffee.

The Birds And The Bugs
02.12.08 A Valentine primer on the opposite sex for children who don't need it by a Dad who can't teach it.

Sam I Am Not
01.29.08 Computer crashes. I do not like them in a house, I do not like them with a mouse. I do not like them Sam I Am.

Thinking On My Feet
01.15.08 Sometimes two brains are not better than one.

The Stick Man Diet
01.01.08 It really works! All you have to do is taste my cooking.

A Photographic Memory
12.18.07 It's Christmas. I finally learn what a holiday photo at the mall is worth.

Fear Of Barbie
12.04.07 Barbie dolls make me nervous. Of course, I blame the women's movement for this.

Fall Of The Patriarch
11.20.07 It's thanksgiving and I am at the head of the table. Where have all the good old men gone?

Soccer Mom 2.0
11.06.07 It's true. I have joined the other team.